Snare Rabbit

I caved, I let all four cats outside. Let them go out there and be cats, let them harass birds and poop wherever they want to for the dogs to find later and eat. There was too much ruckussy angry cat energy inside, and I found myself lamenting having adopted these two beautiful (now nearly grown) kittens who I adore so much, who Freyja still detests. I thought for a moment about What if I had not gotten them? What if it were just Apollo and Freyja here, our original cat members when we moved into this house...? But of course, even then, the house came with shop cats, Orange Juice and Sake, who Freyja absolutely hated. Ahhh... this thing of animals, of creatures in general, of Peaceable Kingdoms and the managing of all of it. The allowing and encouraging (encouragement?) of all of it. The All and the Everything.

I lay in bed last night thinking, thinking, thinking—working the problem for hours, until possibly midnight, though the last time I remember looking at the clock it was around eleven. Even this idea of "working the problem" is funny, because it assumes there is a PROBLEM to work...

IS there a problem? What's the problem, here? Hey, Laura—have you got a problem? No problems here, by golly, just moving along....Recognizing old patterns and releasing them. Practicing the CHOOSING of that which I prefer, rather than creating my reality by default.

I am choosing what I actually prefer to create.

The default in our culture, of course, is so largely based on Fear and Lack—what I was steeped in, raised on. So this is what I'm working with, here...and it feels pretty fucking intense, pretty scary. It's like a free-fall into the arms of the Universe, not sure if I can trust it, and also—here's the catch 22—if I DON'T trust it, it will likely not be there.

So. You know. Fuck.

Old man Apollo is sitting out there on the deck in the morning sunlight, just as content as an old cat can be. He looks ancient, and glorious, and warm, and happy. "Be like a cat," the words come to me...okay, thank you...I will ponder that... and I hear, "Don't need to ponder it, just Be."

Deep breath in, and release.

The part of me who lay in bed last night not sleeping is the part of me who is the little bunny thrashing in a snare—fuck fuck fuck, what am I going to DO!?! HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS!?! That bunny Me is VERY identified with the physicality of things, she is plagued and tormented by the creations of the Three Dimensional world, the elements of our Collective Consciousness who are sleepwalking, having forgotten our own power, and so we need reminding, reminding...It's okay, little rabbit—it's okay, just breathe. Hold still now and just allow, and trust me, that I may be like the Universe, and unbind you from this little mess you've got yourself into. Let me loose the cutting binding hurting strings you're all tangled up in, let me relieve you of this snare. Gently. With greatest care. Intentionally.

There we go, sweetheart.

You are free.

The trick here (I hear giggling) is that I AM BOTH the RABBIT AND THE UNIVERSE. I AM the ALL and EVERYTHING. I am as all IS,

and connected, and everything...

So be it that NOTHING is unavailable to me as I AM,

that EVERYTHING is also Me.

Yep, yep. That is helpful.

I am also Ivy snoring outside my window.

I am also those little birds tittering in the trees.

I am also Kathy Brown dozing in her shavings-bedded shelter in the morning sunlight, feeling like a loved Princess, a Queen.

I am also old Apollo, now curling on the dog bed close to Pony, who I am also as he dozes, yet remains aware of and connected to me.

I am also the acorns falling noisily on the tin roof of the shelter down the slope.

I am also the abundance of the Universe, fully supporting and loving and funding its mission in ALL WAYS—FINANCIALLY, ENERGETICALLY, INTELLIGENTLY, LOVINGLY—because that ABUNDANCE is also ME.

Be patient with yourself, little rabbit. You've spent a lifetime struggling in a snare, and now it feels very different, doesn't it? It feels different to move around and explore the world and know that you can do whatever you want to do. You can be wherever, whoever you want to be, now—you're free.